Nabal... how does a person lie so glibly? I guess you have to be a liar of that magnitude to get it. I am utterly confused. (but not enough to cause doubt)
Everything is: I love you, I love you. Haven't checked his phone lately...but recent behavior is irrelevant.
A lovely day I was walking in the backyard.
Good, because I got in some walking after studying on the computer inside. Also the little dogs run behind me, so we both chew up a few calories.
Depressing, because there are cars all over the yard...and one big boat. Nabal for some reason decided to cut back my plants and some of my grandfather's...at some time in the winter... It was a bad winter...I hope they all make it. One thing I looked at, that he didn't prune severely...was a weed! He asked if I wanted him to buy more... Oh, and he says someone new owns the boat. I told him to tell them to sail it their backyard!
This is why I never let him touch my bushes. The only thing he ever wanted to do was cut them all almost to the ground. Not shape them, just hack them. I know some things you do cut like that. Roses for instance. I see it as either laziness, or that's what some lawn service he worked for did. Cool, he took his orders then from someone who knew what they were doing.
Depressing, because I found all manner of dishes, scrub buckets, laundry buckets, pots, pans. It's like he just had to destroy everything. Then want to replace it with some inferior crap.
When Nabal got home he came to talk...and try to touch my hair, my arm. Grrrr. I'm not a pet! He holds out his arms- will you give me a little hug? No.
He waited until I was on the porch...no way to get away. Rubbed my arm and tried for a hug. Again, no.
Nabal: Why? What did I do. I love you.
He sounds so much like some wounded child. Tomorrow! Tomorrow I see the lawyer. If we get along, she gets all the evidence. Seven years worth. This diary included. Thank you Lundy Bancroft for strongly suggesting keeping some sort of diary to keep reality straight.
Today I looked at Nabal's text to Mary and text to me. In one breath he asks her for a girlfriend hook up, with the next giving me the ILY's. He berated her for lying to him; yet has no issue doing the exact same thing to me. Exact same!
He berated her for lying about seeing another man...for years. Confronted them, then did some sort of sexual thing to her that she didn't agree to, nor invite. We have discussed Mary...for 7 years. Never but once has he told the truth. Which truth was that? When I first caught him and his reply was, "But she's so pretty." He saw her, he wanted her...nothing would stand in his way. Why get divorced when you can have then all?
Rereading, I was taken aback at how Nabal saw their sexual encounter as taking what he saw owed to him. I'm sure he was assuaging his feeling a fool, being played by such a smooth gold digger. Then offered a lame excuse as apology. I don't get either Mary or Nabal...sweet! I don't have to!
What I worry about is that he's going to be mad as hell that he got busted. He'll blame me, for making him seek other women. I look back over our years. He's always tried to make me pay for things I never did. Why did he need to break me?
Funny thing, I always accounted his accusations as karma. Once. Once I'd betrayed my best best friend. I was young and I was wrong. I figured not being trusted in my marriage was just paying karma back. I guess that helped me deal with it. Bow my head and take it as payback from the universe. Not particularly a very Christian thought pattern...you just have to be me.
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