I've been busy. I took some advanced studies. Started working in a new city on my winter days off. Well, not working for someone else, but starting my own business. Quit my job. Full time with my own thing- building a business. Stressed... I've just been feeling adrift. Alone.
My son moved far away up north- yay! He's getting married this summer. I worry, not for him, but his bride- the things Nabal taught him, I hope were not instilled in him. I hope I have given some grain of balance. He has found a more functional family and they know the whole of our past and are trying to help him relearn life and discover who he once was.
My girl it's still at home. Working hard and a prized worker at her establishment as she was at her last. She finally hit a wall and is doing more with her yoga as far as teaching. She's still so very young. I see her taste in men, and I hope that's something she'll grow out of. She's doing better... She's so very hard to talk to still.
Nabal... Now his job seems to be to wear me down. He wants to hear nothing but what he wants to hear. "Why don't you want me anymore? I've done nothing wrong. I love you. Take me back, pleeeease." His coke habit is growing, he no longer sleeps.
Tonight my son called. A high school friend had called him. I might want to sit down... His young gay friend who posts on Craigslist got a reply recently from a 'Nabal _ _ _'. The fellow played along- and now we have pictures and copy. The fellow asked age and stats. "You do realize you're talking to a man, right?" Nabal: "Yes, can I come to your house?" The young fellow asked for a picture of face and...You can guess... Yup, it's Nabal. The boy backed off because he knows Nabal as well as my son, has been to our house and borrowed his truck. He's, and I remind you, also an old friend of our son.
My son opened his email he'd used to set up his dad's phone, and there was a slew of emails for Craigslist to a lot of men on Craigslist.
How uncanny, I had a dream about something like this when we were newly married. It was a vivid dream and so odd I remembered it- to this day. Was it something I picked up on? Was it a warning? I do not know. The last time I had a look at his phone, before he locked it permanently, I did see some men looking for men items and wasn't sure if he he had just gotten lost- he always acts so helpless. Nope- he knew exactly what he was about. But in retrospect, I was pretty sure then.
Why try to analyze... He's looking for men to dominate, (per many of his inquiries to- bottoms) men who want to do 'something' for other men- I think he thinks if he's not the one on his knees and doing, then he's not gay or part of it or something. I say this because a close friend of my kids who has always been obviously gay was a particular target of Nabal. The child would come to our house and Nabal would lecture him that his 'issues' were a sickness of his mind that he could overcome.
Is this the same friend? The young man on Craigslist stopped communication out of respect- for the kids, and not to embarrass Nabal.
A night of...wow.
