Tuesday

I am so missing being able to write from my phone... maybe I'll start emailing myself. He has been... Last night for instance, he spends hours outside drinking, comes in and starts in on the kids about their getting ready to leave him. He comes downstairs where I turned in early and tells me it's going to be me and him soon, and I'm never going anywhere because, "you love poppy so much." Again with the third person usage. I have not done a thing in years that says I have any patience left for him. He's trying to wish and will it all without doing anything. Oh joy, they just decriminalized marijuana here... Thanks progressive town council.

Last night when he made his proclamation, even on the edge of sleep, it made me sick. Seemed more like a threat than a cherished promise. I have no illusions  that he has or will ever change. I'm just the best he can do. But if and when he finds something else, I know for sure he will be gone! Problem is he won't leave without a problem unless he's ready to go.