Tuesday

Nabal came in from church and asked me a question on doctrine. Don't be fooled, it's 11 and he's pretty drunk. I answered and didn't think much else of it. Later he starts telling me his pastor told him just the opposite, yet his previous pastor Noel told him as I had. It all boils down to his current pastor having really abberant doctrine. She thinks that God is through with the Jewish nation and everyone doing them harm is doing God a favor. As I said very bad, misguided doctrine and thinking.

Then Nabal starts telling me he thinks his pastor now has something against him. Internally I'm thinking maybe she's heard about him from somewhere, but can't imagine her letting him stay as an elder if she did know. He went on to say that she changed towards him after he took a fellow to church. (The particular fellow is the guy who left town to stop drinking. Nabal was not remotely happy until he got the guy drinking again. All while he was taking him to church and drunk preaching.) That feeling got stronger... Nabal explained how he took the woman pastor everywhere she needed to go when she first got here. (Really, most pastors would not spend so much time with a member of the opposite sex as it may seem to be inappropriate or a temptation.) Evidently Beto took a shine to her, and that's when it all broke loose. I understand that I am only hearing Nabal's side of the story which may only graze the truth lightly... Nabal claims Beto became jealous of him and told the woman everything about him and his past. (Ha! His current! Knowing the truth unbeknownst to the liar has its perks.) If that's the truth he probably did know everything because most of the time he was sober during Nabal's worst times. He said it like something so very unfair had been done to poor little him. Then says that Beto and the woman had argued and split when she became friendly with another gentleman. He did say she wasn't dating just talking. He Put in that he'd tried to warn her that Beto was crazy. Nooooo, Beto isn't crazy, he's a macho Mexican who thinks women are whores if they speak to another man. Even the pastora... I don't say this as a blanket statement about Me ican men, but I know these guys and have known them for more than 10 years. Them and their families and they are true machos. A brother here with the secretary he left his wife for still had the woman answer and screen calls as if they were still at some office...hell, they were living in public housing! Back to Nabal. I just looked on. All that had happened was the woman had changed towards him? Well, I'm assuming he's being given plenty of room to repent. Then Nabal shook his head and says so, she has wrong doctrine...maybe I should change churches.

So now I wonder if he was talking to his friend Hector or to his pastor when he was explaining that no one could judge him and that God would not punish anyone. He'd done nothing wrong in God's eyes. Well, I have always felt that I wasn't to go tell on him that it would all come out in the end.

It works like this. When caught repentant folks will cave and see their errors. He was quite irritated with his drinking buddy for letting the cat out the bag as it were. I guess the guy did break guy code. I have found tho that these guys are gossips. Mama's boys gossips. I assume the net will be pulled as time goes on.

Me... I'm doing the Chinese medicine thing as fall is for drawing inward. I really need to do a lot of internal work on myself. Past is past and I have a responsibility to myself to deal with all my bad traits I have from how I grew up without using all the distinction as an excuse. Remember how not to drain people. How not to let other people's actions cause a reaction. To let go of things. Things that clearly I have misjudged. I'm back to thinking about wiping out Facebook. Maybe it's depression of still being here. Maybe I'm still here because I have work yet to do. Time will tell I assume. If all the things I dream and wish for are there at the end of my journey to an even better me, then it was all meant to be. If not it would have been all wrong anyway. So crazy as my life appears I'm waiting on God, and working on me. Doing what I have to do to protect what's broken in me until it's mended.