Monday

I'm just so tired of Nabal trying to tell me how I feel. He constantly tells me I'm angry. I'm not...annoyed, disgusted, frustrated, worn out. Those are what I am. When I get angry I get heated. So I know for a fact that I'm not angry.

Told him tonight that a family we have known for at least 16 years, the husband is having surgery tomorrow. Nabal proclaims: It's because he drinks too much. It's 12:21 at night and Nabal is blasting mariachi music. Our house is neither large nor soundproof. Ass! He's drunk off his ass. Claims EVERYTHING he does is because he cares for his family so much. Why doesnt anyone say something? No one wants to talk to him. We all know he doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone but himself.

Tonight he was trying to get me to promise I'd go to Mexico with him this Christmas because his niece is very ill. I really don't ever want to go to Mexico with him again. All I do there is clean, cook and fix everything they don't fix for their drunk of a mother. I told him he should go, just as an answer not to be rude. (Am I nuts caring I may be rude by not answering?) he starts lecturing me that it's his family and since we are married, therefore my family. I was like that once and I very much like two of his brothers. I don't have any want to pretend in there. I just won't not for any kind of face saving. His mother's house has no heat and I refuse to sleep in the same bed with Mr. Toucheyfeelie.

Tonight he was comPlaining about his old Pastor Noel. He's legalistic, he prefers and give preference to people with money. All trueby the way, and then some! Then he claims Noel knows what he does and does nothing about it. They are all without love and do nothing with love. True, but now the accusation of knowing his actions...very interesting. Pretty sure that's not the truth. Noel wanted Nabal to sign some legal document about him no longer working for the church. Then Nabal starts the drunk   Infusing talk. About how them asking him to sign something is against God and a sin. He kept wanting me to agree with him, but I didn't even begin to understand what he was talking about. I changed he subject. Nabal is just tiring to talk to. Guard every word, every inflection of the. Pice lest he act like I've done or said something to make him think there is nothing wrong. He really does try to catch me at odd moments and act normal. He's a sly one...but not sly enough. Just simply tiring.