Thursday

Nabal's work has come back. He got paid yesterday and 'splurged' Had a couple of 40s and a 6 pack. He was wasted last night, but amazingly didn't utter one malicious word. He stumbles in with the computer. He wanted me to do everything for him including going up and down page. He knows how to do that, it's just him trying to get me to wait on him. He said I was mad at him that's why I wouldn't work the computer for him. Alanon says, "Don't do anything for someone that they can do perfectly well for themselves." It's a ploy to make everyone responsible for them... Then he goes into victim mode. "You don't want Poppy no more?" He is conveniently forgetting all the crap he has put us through... Always someone else's fault. He's back to talking like a child in his little kid voice... There is still a place that wants to feel sorry for him, but I know it is all a show. All targeted at pulling me back on the merry-go-round. He is now the jovial drunk. What happened to the damn nasty drunk and his excuse that drunk people do that and he isn't responsible for his actions.

The computer search was for houses... he's looking up $300,000 houses... We owe everybody in the world. Again he's going to spend all his money before he gets it. Then when something happens like it all goes to bills he's gonna be depressed. He is even talking about million dollar farms... This is why we never have any money. I'm going to, as soon as the money hits the bank, pay everything I can and get us up to date. He sees and counts all the money coming in as there for him to spend on crap. Never takes into consideration bills, insurance, taxes and living expenses like clothes and food. I heard him talking to someone about buying a new truck... Nothing ever gets put away. He has good ideas, sometimes, but those are always lost through poor money planning.

So the basement flooded because the grass for the last 2 years has been cut by drunk folks. the drains had overgrown with dirt and grass and were plugged up. Got it all undone now were good. So last night he starts to lecture me about what we need to keep in mind. We need to keep our minds on the house and the drains. In the winter we need to... blah blah blah. I always have cut the grass because he pitched and moaned about being tired. Our boy was cutting it until Nabal broke the mower. He's got the instructing voice going like I am not paying attention to my house. Hell the other day I went out into the yard and looked around. All kinds of crap all over the place. Old cars, old household appliances that didn't come from our house. All our patio things broken food and dirty plates left out. Just junk. I haven't set foot in the back in 2 years except to cut my plants back. Gosh it looks like no one with home training lives here. It is starting to look like the inside. I'm starting to think I have help in keeping the house all jacked up. I clean and within a day or 2 it's all gone to hell again. I'm beginning to think it's part of the confusion that is running rampant here. I'm going to try and get my mower fixed so I can keep the yard decent. It looks like a drunk lives here.