Dead Inside

It just became clear to me that I am dead inside. It is the only way I can deal with an alcoholic this close. I have the sneaking suspicion that our girl is too. When I get some money I'm going to get both of us some counseling. I can remember years upon years ago being alive. I think it was this inner death that lead me to an alcoholic in the first place. I was numb to the warning signs. My tolerance for hurt was way to high. Don't go looking for love and understanding if you can't feel anything. You will wake one day. See the train wreck of your life and then prefer to be wholly dead.