Wednesday

Last night I went to a nutritional marketing meeting. I got out with people! I talked, I met people I liked, I was almost me again. Was reading Lundy Bancroft's new book 'Should I Stay or Should I Go?' and reading things to do no matter what you decide. Advice is: think back to the time before, when you were strong. In daily situations ask yourself, "What would you do?" Becoming so conditioned to temper our responses so as not to upset another, we need to find our center again. We all have to in a relationship compromise, but when we have drastically changed because of egg shell walking or fear of reprizal... Not good. What would Abigail do?! Last night when I got home Nabal was following me and being very concillitory. Was talking to a friend and he decended. The usual trying to kiss me on the mouth while I'm talking on the phone, but this time he took it a step further and tried to kiss my breast. I blocked him and he giggled and went back upstairs. I know his game. Encroaching on my space to push forward his agenda- I'm his wife and property. Property doesn't have private space, use it as you please and if you move on or forget about it for a season, it's still there when you think of it again. I'm Abigail, not property! I went upstairs later he was on my computer and blocking my line of site. Yeah, I looked at the history- all Mary Sims. I'm sure he'll be leaving for her. I can only hope! I could see he was 'grooming' her last time. Texting her hourly when she was out of town, quizzing her about where she was, who with, and what she was doing. Weirdness is she answered, without sarcasm... I guess the next time he wants someone a little more 'pliable.' I wouldn't wish him on anyone, but if you believe his sob story and know he's married, you get what you get. Notice he is looking for his next place to land before he leaps. I think he thought he had her wrapped last time. This time he is 'more' sober. Maybe it'll work for him this time. I fear because he will have her as a pitbull against me and she may be property hungry.