In The Midst of The Holidays

The job has finally come to an end and most of Christmas was spent sleeping. I convinced everyone that it was me re-acclimating to day times, but I knew it depressed me that Nabal was home and trying for kisses and hugs at every turn. It wasn't gentle it was him pretending that nothing had happened and forcing me to come over to that reality. He already told me that it was my fault that he drank like a fish for two years, but that he did indeed forgive me and still loved me... Well, ain't that grand. Now he is playing the victim. He runs around buying me crap I don't like or ask for (food stuff) and trying to make me eat it. What the hell is up with that? He either asks me, sounding completely clueless, "You are mad all the time, why?" When he pushed me a couple of weeks ago and I said the drinking was the least, it was the women. He got the most pious look and told me in a pat on the head sort of way that I was mistaken. When I offered up proof he chuckled. Chuckled... Told me if I wasn't in his business it wouldn't bother me. Then tried to change the subject. I have 2 more months before I can get a real job. One last set of classes and then my reviews. He while I was working actually told me that there was no reason for me to ever work and I should therefore quit school. What really gets me is the playing the victim thing. He is still speaking in third person, "You don't love Poppy no more." Said in a completely creepy little kid voice. The man is 44.

So he got completely drunk the other night and came into the room woke me and told me, "I'm going to make you love me again." Aside from the fact that he smelled like rotten bananas. I was not dealing with a drunk. So he's trying to kiss and grind. Then he left. Smiling. I woke to him trying to pull my clothes off. Well that didn't go well for him. I just wanted to be left the heck alone and all I could think of was Pepe le Pew. Until he tried to forcefully get some jail house action. I snapped, it hurt and I hit him, and cursed him, then left the room. I am sorry I crossed that line, opened that door. He just got way to close to power tripping. I think this will be hard these next few months. I don't think he will be easy to get to leave either. He has made up his mind that we are one big happy family and that the last two years was just a little stress.

He asked this morning why I didn't talk. I told him I just didn't have anything to say. I'm not going to play his game or validate his lies anymore so there is nothing more to say. So he says now each day we will sit down and talk for 1 hour. I told him I hope he has a lot to say... Then he tried to weave some new past history and I called him up short and told him that I was not going to be party to his rewriting of history any more. He's trying to paint the last two years as he was here, nothing much out of the ordinary happened and I'm blowing everything out of proportion. Can we say Gas-Light? I'm done with his head games.

When I questioned him about some of the antics that have gone on between he and Isela, he says, "I don't want her. Do you know how many times she has asked me to leave to be with her? I don't want her." When after that speech I told him to go. Go with Isela, she loves (and deserves) him. He changed the subject, well not exactly changed, "Baby, I love you... I like you." Still drinking, still smoking dope, still texting. Control freak.