Monday

The last week has been a tad trying. Everything turned upside down, just such personal strife here in the house, yet Nabal seems to have noticed nothing. I'm betting he did notice because he kicked Sommen of the parties while they were down. I could have strangled him, but he plays the passive agressive part, smiled and said he was just trying to be helpful. I have been doing a lot of praying and seeking the last few days. I believe I have at least one answer. Tho still wondering what real direction it's all heading.

Ah, Nabal passed out by 9:30, peace. I was seriously asking God if my attitude was correct. I know it may seem crazy to some, but God is still in the miracle business and healing and changing each and every day. Some days I have to stop and make sure my wants aren't running contrary to God's plans. I can be a little impatient. It's warm for a December night and Nabal sat in his truck drinking for almost 2 hours. Fine with me, it's not as if anyone really talks to him much. He came in with some gossip, I could see it in his eyes. He had spoken to the protege. Evidently his parents and siblings put him in rebar in Mexico. Nabal was almost horrified! He told me in a tone that conveyed can you believe they did this?!? I was very happy. Happy for the protege and I told Nabal that I was because the protege was killing himself. He looked at me in disbelief, "You think that could happed?" my answer, "Yes!" I had to get sarcastic and asked if  he was advising the protege on how to remain free of rehab. Nabal laughed and said he told him to come back up here. It would be easy for him to sneak across the border, heck he did it when he was 14. (Oh gosh, a hundred years ago! Nabal is almost 50...) I was just being smart alicky, but he really was advising the protege against rehab. Same as he did with Pablito. Again this is the decon who is supposed to be looking out for the good of people. Will people stop at justifying nothing? Then Nabal completely shifted the blame for the protege's drinking onto the man's wife. If I remember the woman had done nothing wrong but the drunken machos had him convinced she was until he heard she was wisely investing their money and looking oh for the family. Nabal claims she was found to be living with another man when he returned. I would bet she had received a few drunk calls from him over his 3 year conversion to a full blown, waking to drink a fifth of vodka at 5 a.m. And staggering drunk by 10 a.m. He had women, girlfriends here who stayed overnight yet his wife is the only one in the wrong. Always with the damn Poor me crap. They spin out of control and when the women react, they are the victims of horrible women...

Just after Nabal's news about the protege an old friend called to ask for prayer for her husband. He has been abusive as long as I have known him. He plays a good game to the public. He's been an alcoholic as long as I've known him. He smokes weed like a chimney and introduced his now 16 year old son to it. He has off and on dabbled in crack cocaine. The man is a diabetic who has cost his family thousands of dollars in hospitalization because he continues to drink. He hasn't worked in at least 10 years. Last year he had shunts put in his brain to drain fluid, and yet he drinks. This night he can't breath on his own because he saw the need to use crack again. I've heard he introduced his son to that also. His wife is so damn mad about this. His thoughtless actions. She asked why. All I could say was that addiction skews thought and  they can't say no. These were simple country people  who got swallowed by drugs. I feel for her, I could hear anguish in her voice. Hate mixed with...loyalty? Her love moved on many years ago. He has made all their lives hell.  If I told Nabal, he would start into decrying the man's drug addled life. Nabal is good at picking apart all the things the other guy does that seperate him from being a happy alcoholic and make him a monster. He likes his peers being worse drunks than he. He can feel superior.

1 Corinthians 5 has been resonating so much with me these last few months, maybe year. Why the big hoopla to judge the world's sins? Look at the dirt residing in those who call themselves brothers and sisters of the church. God isn't vague, yet justification for any and every sin is rampant. Not only sin, but the covering up of sin. Take heed churches. Don't stand between God and souls he intends for himself.