Monday

And it's only the beginning... So much to write, but I'm so sick of his antics it is a chore even to write. Tonight... I tried to give him his dinner at about 8 p.m. but he'd just come back in the house with his beer and didn't want to eat. 11:30 p.m. and he's ready to eat! I made bread, have cured ham slices, put them together with an egg fried with spinach and cheese. I had to make them as they were eaten. Came upstairs and he'd dumped some day old rice from a restaurant into the spinach. When I asked he immedietly blamed our girl. I'm just so tired of his lies to get out of any responsibility I snapped. He immedietly turned it all as a little joke that I'd blown up. Then he plays the victim... I'd embarassed him in front of the child. Then he starts asking something about Facebook sign on. Then innocently asked how I knew everything in his texts. Told him I didn't. After a while I told him that was a year ago and I don't check anymore. He asked why... Told him I just didnt care anymore. He asked why... I said why should I? Then he actually said, "Oh, you don't care about me anymore." He really can get to victim from anywhere...

So he really doesnt like his new pastor. Keeps saying she is bi-polar. Says with one breath she is stupid and immedietly has to correct because she really is very smart. She is very new to the country. He is so upset this week because everyone is leaving and he wants to bring them back. How? Who knows... Why? This is part of what worries me. If he won't let people leave a church without a fight with him, how am i going to get out of this crazy marriage? The guy who was preaching, Nabal found out some photos then later carries him back to church. Today he says he should, and has the right to kill him or kick his ass... Seems he loaned the guy $1,200 then kept loaning him more money. My guess is he's never paid a dime back. But still... nice church talk. He's talking about going to get people who left years ago... Finally the couple who do the music just left. He wondered why they didnt just say they wanted to leave. I said that the last time they tried you harassed them until they returned. Maybe they found out the truth. He blames the pastor because she wanted to buy their car but would have to make payments. all the while calling all of them stupid. Wrong heart..