Friday

It's been better. A little. I sleep in the basement and Nabal has our old room. He's still trying to sweet talk me back in, but I can't lie I'm plainly done. And when he tries to order me back in, it reminds me why I'm done. I'm so tired of being tirea and confused. I'm just the maid, and I like it! I feed him, collect his dishes from wherever he's set them, wash clothes, put them away, change his sheets, do the bills, I even talk to him when he talks to me. He still tries the touchy stuff. It just feels like he's trying to possess property... Still coming in holding his arms out and says, "Give me a kiss!" or "Give me a hug!" Again I didn't treat him like dirt, I didn't meet someone at a motel, or get caught, or try and lie my way out of it. I didn't up till now ignore him and make him feel unwanted for 2 years. I didn't hurt our children by using drugs and being drunk daily in front of them. I didn't abuse my family. I didn't threaten to leave repeatedly, in fact not at all. I'm not playing games. When I say leave I'm going to mean it. So, why do I have to give anything except respect due another human. He's still drinking about every other day. His texting is creeping back up I really hope he can pull it off with Isela. That way he will maybe not turn into the possesive stalker guy who after he has torn apart and tried to destroy now doesn't actually want to let go of. We, his wife and kids are the mice. He is the cat who tortures and plays.

He decided I'd fallen down on my job. The kids rooms were catastrophys. You have to understand that the kids know that if I say anything they get dad on their side or have a melt down which they know I'll leave alone because he'll over react. Plus he was trying to make me feel responsible. He asks about why they are not clean. I was actually planning this weekend to get them going using the back to school speech. He says we are from two worlds and his room was never like that. I told him that's because his mom cleaned it. That shut him up. Our boy wanted to know when he had a room to himself. The kids had started cleaning some before he started in.

I'm so looking forward to working and I have been looking for a partner to work with for the company. I just want to get all these bills paid off. Sell this rental house. Take over these bills and he can go wherever he chooses. Except stay here. I want to rent this house and get out of this town. I want to be near family and friends again.