Nabal: You work so much... When are we going to be able to spend some time just for us? Let's go to Florida. I want to see Miami! We need time together because I love you.
Ok... Years ago maybe. With all that has transpired...not interested at all. I am just amazed. He did say some time ago that I just needed to get over everything and start over. Umm...no. He acts jovial and yet at the same time pushes possession. Trying to touch, even touch that seems innocent yet is invasive. Announcing- You are my wife. You, all of you belongs to me. But its like he's instructing a child...
Why the f#ing head games? Divorce was once on the table. Guess he thought it was a scare tactic...that blew up in his face!
It's the whole possession thing that really bothers me. Let's see... A possession doesn't get to call it quits. A possession can be used however the owner sees fit. A possession when it no longer works correctly...can be disposed of. That last one... Scary sh#t! These are the guys that cajole, humor, whatever...until one makes a stand and says its completely over. Then they turn into who they really are. Anger exudes and folks get hurt. Family, friends and the 'possession' itself.
No, I have no plans of spending any romantic weekends reconnecting with Nabal. It just amazes me how he turns on a dime. I don't even like to break bread with him. Every talk is one directional with him- Towards a bed and sex. He believes his own hype. I've let him down. I was the reason for his...how shall we say? Gosh, immature crazy times where he was possessed by juvenal someone else? Well, something that let's him completely off the hook of responsibility. Naturally it falls back to me. He was so overwrought...poor boy. And naturally since he overcame my...whatever he's imagined. I should overcome his...faux pas. Bahahaha! That would work if there was any truth to it! He goes back more than 20 years, before we dated, tries to invent something that didn't happen...and voila! All my fault.
Just makes me nuts. If he keeps at it I'm sure he hopes I well cave and accept my place... Oh my God, I'd rather be alone. He of course believes that if he's not appealing there must be someone else. Why? Well...his reality is all women are whores at heart. He was just telling me his niece is pregnant. She was abused by her mom as a child. Put upon by get father's girlfriend- a la Cinderella. Beat by her father because he was grieving the loss of a younger daughter. (through parental disinterest) Her only other caregiver was alcoholic self-centered granny. I tried to get her to the states. Her learning disability was delt with horribly because she was getting more attention than her hard head brother. God I hate machismo! Why is she pregnant? Why are all adults involved angry? OMG, the child never had a chance to make another choice!
I think he's been filling girlfriend in on how wronged he is..and he's begun to believe it. His look of surprise and disbelief when I say no to him on all his romantic overtures. Like a hurt child. Oh just makes me crazy.
What am I missing? Maybe balls to seriously closer all this down. Maybe just the difference in reality and fantasy.
No comments:
Post a Comment