Sunday

Another week. Just feeling depressed. I don't seem to be able to move any way, be it forward or backward. Nabal is trying to act normal. Accused of being harsh because I won't sweep every thing under the rug and get back in that bedroom! Now he asks what he can do to make things right... Too little, too late. Always trying to touch me to stroke my skin. I feel revulsion. One minute he's talking the church speak, but it's always soon followed by the outpouring of his real motive- to control a church body. Poor woman who is now their pastor. He never calls her by name still. Either the little lady, or the lady. He still wants to take her and 'run' a church. He wants a church for himself... He was drunk pretty much every day this week, even after church. I've just got to shake this depression. Nabal said this week that his life is over. As soon as he pays all the bills off he's going to die... Maybe another head game. He's trying to talk our boy out of the military. So the boy can run his business for him. Since it would take him a while to make money at physics... Maybe I'm jaded, I just see him being controlling. I just hope in his talking he doesn't push the boy further into his resolve to go into the military.